


Tommy and the no good very bad exile

by SilverWing15



Series: I'm Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me [2]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: But big bro Techno, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, WARNINGS:, Yeah its a cheery one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:49:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28080441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWing15/pseuds/SilverWing15
Summary: Tommy wakes with a hand over his mouth. Caught halfway between sleep and waking, he half expects to hear one of his brother’s frantically begging for him not to cry, not to tell dad. That doesn’t make sense though, because he’s not home, he’s in exile.There's a deeper shadow in his tent looming over him. A familiar pair of blue eyes gleaming down at him from the boar skull mask.Techno.Or: Its Tommy's turn to join his brothers in Family Bonding Hell
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: I'm Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057121
Comments: 56
Kudos: 1179
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

Tommy wakes with a hand over his mouth. Caught halfway between sleep and waking, he half expects to hear one of his brother’s frantically begging for him not to cry, not to tell dad. That doesn’t make sense though, because he’s not home, he’s in exile. Phil hasn’t bothered to visit, neither has Tubbo. Techno did, once, but only to mock him. 

And Wilbur...

Well. 

Him, at least, Tommy can forgive not coming for a visit. Its hard to be angry at a dead man. He’d tried that for awhile, hadn’t really done much for him. 

Being alone has made it so easy to get stuck in his own head. Someone’s hand is over his mouth, a deeper shadow in his tent looming over him. A familiar pair of blue eyes gleaming down at him from the boar skull mask. 

Techno. 

Tommy isn’t sure how he feels about that, really. Angry? It takes a lot to be angry nowadays, really. He supposes its kind of nice that Tecnho came to visit. In the middle of the night. 

Tommy wonders if Techno is here to kill him. 

Maybe that should scare him. It doesn’t. Tommy has been waiting for death to find him for weeks. At least it came in a familiar face. 

Tommy relaxes into Techno’s grip, waiting for the blow to come. Even after everything Technoblade will probably make it quick, that’ll be nice. Just one moment of sharp pain after these long weeks of constant ache and then all the pain can be gone.

Only Techno doesn’t draw his blade, doesn’t put a bottle of poison to Tommy’s lips and force him to drink it. The way he did that terrible cold medicine that one time when they were young and Phil was away and Techno was the only one there for them. 

Instead Techno frowns down at him and shakes him a bit, like he thinks Tommy’s gone back to sleep. Tommy grunts, glaring a bit at his older brother, he raises a hand to bat Techno’s away. Techno lets him. “Just get it over with.” Tommy hisses. 

“Over with?” Techno asks, he almost sounds confused. 

“Kill me.” Tommy snaps, nearly a shout. 

Techno hushes him, quickly slapping his hand back over Tommy’s mouth. “I’m not  _ killing you _ ,” Techno says, incredulous, “I’m  _ kidnapping you. _ ” 

Tommy’s ‘ _ what?’ _ is muffled against Techno’s skin. 

Techno looms over him, the shadows of his mask hide his eyes as he whispers, “Dad says its time to come home.” 

Words that Tommy has heard a hundred times, maybe even a thousand. Day after day, when he and Tubbo had stayed out too late, one of their brothers would find them without fail. “Dad says its time to come home.” meant dinner, meant light and warmth and company, and safety. 

Tommy smacks Techno’s hand away much harder this time. “Fuck you.” he snarls, he keeps his voice low because he knows that Techno  _ let _ him push his hand away. He’s far stronger than Tommy. “You think you can just--After everything?? You just waltz back in here and--” his words disappear into a wordless growl. He sits up and moves to swing his legs over the side of the cot. He’s not staying here listening to this. 

They could have come for him at any time. They didn’t even  _ visit _ and now they think they can dictate to him? Like he’s still that mud-covered boy who stayed out too late chasing frogs. They left him, they don’t get to  _ pretend _ now. 

Techno sits him back down, easy as a lion smacking around a kitten. “We couldn’t come right away,” he begins, in that same stupid tone he always used when he thought Tommy was being slow. “We had to wait for Dream to--” 

_ Dream _ gods, Dream. If he knew Techno was here, if he knew Tommy  _ left with him _ ! Tommy tries and fails to shove Techno’s hand off his shoulder, “I’m not going with you.” 

Techno’s eyes flash dangerously from the shadows of his mask, “Tommy.” 

Tommy scowls, he isn’t a  _ child _ . Not anymore at least. Techno can’t talk to him like one. 

“I’m. Staying. Here.” Tommy clenches his teeth. He doesn’t want to, not really, he’s so tired of being alone. Tired of the thoughts that nip at him every hour of the day, the ones he can’t escape. The ones that make him look down into the lava of the nether and wonder if it would really hurt all that much. 

But he’s also angry, so angry it makes his hands shake. How  _ dare _ Techno show up and act like nothing happened. Act like they hadn’t  _ abandoned _ him. Like Techno hadn’t betrayed him before that, hadn’t nearly razed his city. The city that Wilbur built. 

The city that Wilbur destroyed. 

The city that Wilbur died in. 

Through the holes of the mask, Tommy can see Techno’s brow furrowed, his eyes are almost soft. But Techno isn’t soft. He’s chaos, he’s destruction. He’s a traitor, he’s not Tommy’s brother. 

Maybe Tommy doesn’t have any brothers left. Or fathers. 

Only Dream. 

Dream stuck him out here, sure, but really he did Tommy a favor. Showed him how little people really cared about him. He would be furious if he found out about this. If Tommy left. Tommy’s breath comes faster at the thought. Dream can’t know, Tommy can’t go. Techno has to leave, before Dream shows up. Before Dream finds out. Tommy’s been so  _ good _ he can’t let his brother ruin it. 

Techno rubs at his shoulder, just a little bit. It doesn’t make Tommy want to cry. 

It doesn’t. 

“Would you just leave?” his voice sounds stupid. Wavering and whiny and weak. 

“Not without you.” Techno says. 

Tommy growls, “I’m not going with you.” 

Techno sighs, in the dark Tommy can see the muzzle of his mask turn, look out of the tent. “We don’t have time for this,” he mutters. And then he shoves Tommy back down onto the cot and pulls out a coil of rope. 

“What are you--!” Techno shoves his hand back over Tommy’s mouth. The other he uses to pin Tommy’s shoulder to the cot with almost casual strength. 

“I told you,” he says, low and menacing and for a split second Tommy freezes, a jolt of fear races up his spine. “You’re coming home.” 

He pulls his hand away and Tommy sputters for words only for Techno to shove a gag into his mouth. Whatever the cloth is, it tastes disgusting, sweat and dirt and sea salt. When Tommy raises his hands to try and pry it out of his jaws, Techno grabs both his wrists with one hand and uses the other to coil the rope around them. 

Tommy tries to thrash and buck but Techno barely seems to notice. All too soon, Tommy is bound, wrists and ankles, and tossed unceremoniously over his brother’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 

Dream is going to be furious, but there isn’t anything Tommy can do about it now. 

There’s never been anything Tommy could do about it. 

*** 

Wherever they’re going--because Techno won’t actually  _ tell him _ , he just keeps saying “home” when Tommy asks--its far. Tommy was already far away from L’manberg, but Techno is taking him even further. 

Dream is going to hate having to go this far away from everything. He likes to be near the others, near the chaos. When he’s not with Tommy. 

They travel by boat at first, Tommy is left tied up at the bottom while Techno rows them through the waves like he’s more machine than man. The steady sound of his stroke and the rocking of the waves eventually send Tommy to sleep. 

He wakes up and they’re still on the water, but there’s land in sight. Techno pulls the gag out of his mouth--Tommy realizes that its his own bandana--and gives him a drink and a bit of dried meat. “You should just let me go,” Tommy says, without much hope that it will work, “I’m just going to leave when we get wherever we’re going.” 

Techno grunts but doesn’t say anything more. 

Tommy hates when he gets like this. There’s no stopping Techno once he’s decided on something and this has the air of a decision that not even Phil could sway him from. But from what Techno said, Tommy imagines that Phil is the one sending Techno on this little quest. 

Tommy wiggles until he’s sitting up in the bottom of the boat, the land doesn’t look familiar. There are pine trees instead of the oak and birch that he’s used to. The air is cold too. How far are they going? 

Dream will find him, eventually. There’s no doubt about that. But maybe he’d be less angry about Tommy leaving if Tommy tried to go back? Tommy glances behind them, there’s nothing but water back there. Too far to swim even if he wasn’t tied. The only thing he’d do now is sink. 

He looks down at the water, sees his face reflected up at him.  _ It would be easy _ the thoughts whisper,  _ just a little shove and you could go down there. It looks peaceful, doesn’t it? It would be so cold you’d probably pass out before you drowned.  _

It does look peaceful, it would be peaceful. Just to let himself drift down to the bottom, let the water cradle him, carry him. 

He nearly chokes as Techno pulls him back to the bottom of the boat by his bandana. He coughs a few times and glares up at his brother, “what the hell?” 

Techno looks down at him with that same concerned expression from last night. It makes Tommy just as angry to see it in the light. He punches at Techno’s ankle, resting on the bottom of the boat a few inches from his face. 

Techno doesn’t even bother to move it, “stay in the boat.” he chides. 

“I’ll do what I want.” Tommy mutters. 

Techno grunts and keeps rowing. 

*** 

When they make landfall, Techno unties his ankles, but leaves his wrists bound. “Are you serious?” Tommy demands. 

Techno gives him a flat look and ties the spare rope to that around his wrists, like Tommy is an animal in need of a lead. 

“I could carry you the whole way,” Techno says, half threat, half offer. He could too, the bastard. 

Tommy decides to pick his battles wisely for once and glares at his brother in sullen silence. Techno nods as if he’s said something and gathers the bags from beside the boat. He’s hidden it with pine branches and grass, like there is literally anyone else that will come out here. 

The boat will be best hidden from those looking at it from above, part of Tommy notices. 

Dream is the only one who can fly. 

Techno tugs at the rope, surprisingly gently. It makes the anger flare even hotter in Tommy’s chest but if Techno wants quiet he’ll get quiet. Tommy grits his teeth and makes a vow not to say another word. 

As they travel, the air gets colder, Frost starts appearing on the grass. At mid-day, Techno stops and motions for Tommy to sit down. “We’ll rest here for a bit.” he says and Tommy looks out in the direction they’re traveling and maintains his silence. This isn’t the first time they’ve stopped. Tommy hadn’t eaten much in exile, hadn’t really seen the need to, hadn’t really had the supplies to, its made him weak. 

Techno offers him more water and dried meat. 

Tommy turns away. 

“You want me to make you eat it?” Techno asks bluntly. 

Tommy eats. 

From the supplies he’d pulled from the boat, Techno retrieves a pair of thick winter coats. Dyed deep blue, lined with white fur. A pair of red cloaks. “Its going to get colder from here on out,” he says. Its already plenty cold, just how far north are they  _ going? _

“I’m going to untie you,” Techno says, his tone catches Tommy’s attention immediately. Its not quite menacing yet, but its at the edge. That same tone he’d used when they were young, before everything went to shit, when the rest of them had just about pushed him too far with their antics. “Don’t try anything stupid or I  _ will _ tie you back up and carry you the rest of the way.” 

Tommy grits his teeth and nods. 

Techno unties him and tosses him one coat and cloak, he even digs out a pair of winter boots, also lined with thick white fur. Tommy notices that he’s already wearing a pair. For a moment, Tommy debates trying to run, but Techno is taller and faster than him and not afraid to make good on his threat. It will be better to try later, when Techno’s guard is down. 

He puts on the winter gear and finishes hands back the water skin. Techno stands, “let’s go.” he offers Tommy a hand but Tommy smacks it aside and stands on his own. He doesn’t need Technoblade’s pity. He doesn’t need any of their pity. 

_ That’s what this is about, _ he thinks as they continue their trek. Techno walks behind him, just in case he runs.  _ Poor little Tommy’s gotten in over his head again, I guess its up to us to save him again. _ Well too bad, he doesn’t need saving. He’s  _ done _ being saved. 

They travel in silence for several more hours. Twice Techno asks if he wants to stop but Tommy keeps trudging onward like he didn’t hear him. He’s not  _ weak _ , he was fine on his own. He didn’t need Techno to come rescue him. 

Frost transitions into true snow, a few inches at first, but then its up over the top of Tommy’s boots, up to his calves. He’s breathing hard, its difficult work, every step his foot breaks through the top of the snow and he has to step high to get out of it. 

He’s breathing hard, like he’s running instead of going painfully slowly. Behind him, he can hear the steady rhythm of Technoblades’ steps, but his brother doesn’t seem bothered at all. Tommy scowls to himself and tries to quiet his breathing. 

His feet are numb, he hasn’t felt his toes in hours, but he keeps marching on.  _ What would it be like? _ His thoughts wonder without his permission,  _ to just lie down in it, let it cover you in the cold? Let yourself go completely numb. You wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore.  _

Techno’s hand lands on his shoulder and Tommy nearly jumps out of his skin. “We’re almost there,” he says, Tommy thinks its meant to be comforting. Tommy keeps walking. Techno walks beside him and keeps his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. 

Tommy doesn’t try to make him move it. Its cold anyway, and Techno’s hand is warm, even through the cloak and the jacket and his shirt. 

They see the smoke first, rising from behind a hill. Then the chimney, and finally the house itself. Its a modest thing, at the outskirts of a small village. 

Dream could crush this without breaking a sweat. If he finds it. 

No. When. When he finds it. He’ll find it, it’s only a matter of time.  _ When _ Dream finds this place he’ll wipe it off the map with barely a gesture, he’ll be so angry he probably won’t even notice. 

Techno nudges him a bit and Tommy keeps walking. They tromp up the steps, the two of them. If Tubbo were here then it would be just like old times. Like coming home late in the evening after a long day of adventures that don’t end with war, with dead brothers and exile and betrayal. 

But Tubbo isn’t here. 

According to the compass, he’s somewhere south east of here. 

The door opens and there’s Phil. He looks tired, Tommy realizes distantly, they’re just standing there, staring at each other. Phil’s hair is a mess, he’s not wearing his hat, there’s deep bags under his eyes like bruises. 

He doesn’t look like a man that could survive Dream’s wrath. 

He lifts a hand and presses it to Tommy’s cheek, “my son.” he whispers, so quiet that Tommy almost doesn’t hear him. 

Techno clears his throat.

“I--” Phil says, his voice is hoarse, “I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

Techno grunts, “let us in.” he says shortly, “we need to get him downstairs.” 

Phil seems to snap back to himself, “of course.” he says, he lets his hand fall away from Tommy’s cheek slowly, like he’s reluctant to move it. Tommy has to stop himself from reaching up to grab it and put it back. 

Phil ushers them into the house, there’s a table to the left, with a worn top, one leg propped up by a book. Two chairs sit empty, facing each other. The door shuts behind them with a soft  _ thunk _ that still makes Tommy flinch. 

There are no weapons here. Phil and Techno are the only ones in the world with any chance of actually fighting Dream but there are no weapons. They can’t be hoping to simply stay hidden. Dream will find them, Dream will find him. And then he’ll destroy this place. Destroy the bookshelves, the soft carpet. 

Tommy is shaking, but it must just be the chill leaving him. That’s what must be making his heart race too. 

Phil and Techno are talking, he realizes, their voices are a faraway murmur in his ears. He has no idea what he’s doing here. He should have fought Techno more, should have run. Dream will  _ have _ to know that he’s left by now. He’s going to be  _ furious _ . 

Hands on his shoulders, Tommy flinches, curls into himself. Waits for the blow to land. Apology already on his lips. 

Phil cups his cheeks with his hands and makes Tommy look up into his eyes, “its alright,” he says, Tommy can’t actually hear him but he can see his lips form the words. Can imagine how they sound in the air. 

He was pathetic enough to imagine the sound of them so many times, alone on that island. Imagine Phil coming to visit, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, telling him that everything would be alright, tell him that he was doing so well, being so brave. But Phil hadn’t come. It was just Tommy. Just Tommy and Dream. 

Phil hugs him, tight and warm and its foolish but Tommy for the first time feels safe. Here in his father’s arms where he can trick himself into thinking that Dream can’t find him, that Dream can’t rip this away too. 

He feels smothered in the feeling of Phil’s arms around him but he never wants him to let go. He wasn’t hungry much, on the island, but right now he feels starved for this, for touch, for the sound of Techno and Phil talking over his head. The simplicity of having  _ people _ around him. He hadn’t realized how much he longed for it. 

Well, no, he knew how lonely he was, but he didn’t realize that a hug could feel this good. 

“We can’t stay up here,” Techno says, his voice breaks through Tommy’s thoughts. 

“Techno,” Phil says, a little scolding, a little begging. 

“I know.” Techno says, “but its dangerous, he needs to go downstairs. He’s a danger to himself.” 

Phil’s arms tense around him, “he--” 

“Later.” 

Phil squeezes him tighter for just a moment and then he pulls away. Tommy nearly begs for him to come back nearly chases after him. But he knows better. Dream didn’t want to be clung to either. Tommy would take what scraps he could get and convince himself that he could be happy with them. 

“Come on,” Phil says. He wraps one arm around Tommy’s shoulders and guides him through the house. Techno trails behind them. 

There is a lever hidden on the wall of the kitchen, and underneath the beat up table, a set of stairs appears. Tommy wants to laugh (but if he laughs he won’t stop, he won’t stop laughing until he’s crying so he bites down on the urge) of course Phil and Techno would have a secret base inside of their secret base.

He doesn’t know how he could doubt them. 

Maybe because Dream won’t care about secret bases, he’ll make this house a crater all the way down to bedrock, and then hidden basements won’t do them any good. 

Phil leads him down the steps, “Until we deal with Dream you’re going to have to stay down here. I won’t let him find you again, but even if he does, he can’t get in here. You’re safe now, Tommy.” 

There is a short hallway at the bottom of the stairs, and Tommy can see that it leads to a large room with a table and a map taking over the wall. This is where Phil and Techno have been making their plans. 

They don’t lead Tommy there, though, instead, Techno opens one of the doors along the hall. There are five of them, just like their first house when they were little. One for Techno, one for Tommy, one for Tubbo. One for Wilbur. 

This must be an old base, then. 

“You must be tired,” Phil says, “you’ve been through a lot today even without all of that travel. Rest, Tommy, we’ll talk when you get up, alright?” 

Tommy nods without really processing the words. Phil guides him to the bed--a real bed, not just a cot--and pulls the covers up over his shoulders. Tommy grabs his hand as he finishes adjusting the blanket. “Stay,” he begs, its stupid and childish, and he’s supposed to be angry with Phil. With Techno.

Phil sits down on the bed beside him, “alright.” 

Its easy to fall asleep with his father’s hand carding through his hair. 

*** 

He wakes up alone, and for one terrible moment, he wonders if it was all a figment of his imagination. Then he realizes that he’s not on the beach, there is no sound of the waves, the air is too cold. He’s on a bed, surrounded by four solid walls, not on a cot protected by a thin tent. 

It was real. He’s not there anymore, he’s in Techno and Phil’s secret base. 

He’s safe. 

But he’s alone. 

He sits up, someone took off his boots, but they left him in the coat and cloak. The room is bare, nothing but the bed, a desk and chair--the chair is at his bedside, someone was here, watching over him, but they’re gone now. There is nothing on the walls, not even a rug on the floor. The blankets are bland white, impersonal. 

The door is locked. 

Tommy stares at it for a moment, tries the handle again. It won’t turn. He’s locked in. 

They locked him in. 

Hesitantly, Tommy knocks, “Techno?” he calls, “this isn’t funny!” 

There is no smothered laughter from the other side of the door. 

“Philza!” 

Nothing. 

“Dad?” 

Silence. 

Then, footsteps, Tommy scrambles back from the door. The lock clicks and Techno appears, “you’re up,” he notes. 

“Why is it locked?” Tommy demands, “where’s dad?” 

Techno sighs, “he’s gone.” 

“Gone?” 

“He had to make sure Dream saw him,” Techno explains, he’s blocking the door, keeping Tommy from leaving. “So he wouldn’t come looking for him and find this place. Dream knows I wouldn’t care about you, but he’s been keeping an eye on Phil.” 

It shouldn’t surprise him that Phil’s gone. He never stayed for very long, not when there were so many things he needed to do. Being left with Techno is nothing unusual. 

But it stings. 

“Why was the door locked?” 

Techno’s jaw twitches, he’s going to lie. “I didn’t want you to go outside, its cold out there.” 

“You were fine with me walking through it last night,” Tommy challenges. 

Techno sighs, “things are...complicated,” he says. No twitch of his jaw. Truth. But its not an especially helpful truth. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Its just until we know what Dream did to you,” Techno says, like that’s supposed to reassure him. 

“He exiled me!” Tommy shouts, “he dumped me on a beach somewhere and none of you even cared until you came to kidnap me! What the hell is going on?” 

“Calm down,” Techno says, making a downward motion with a hand, like Tommy is going to wake up Phil. But Phil left. 

Phil always leaves. 

“I am calm!” Tommy shouts. 

Techno glares at him until Tommy shuts his mouth. “Things are complicated,” Techno says again, “and there isn’t much I can tell you until we figure this out, okay? Trust me, none of us are happy with what Phil’s doing but its safer here than it is out there.” 

“We?” Who else is here? Tubbo? Fundy? 

Techno winces, “I’ve got to go.” 

He shuts the door before Tommy can argue. The lock clicks behind him. 

Tommy sinks to his knees before it, at least on the beach he could go where he wanted, do what he wanted. Here he can’t even leave this room, here he has no idea what’s going on. 

“Techno!” He calls through the door, hoping his brother will come back and  _ explain this _ . 

“Tommy?” an impossible voice asks. Then it laughs. “Knew he would get you too.” 

“Will?” Tommy whispers. 

“Hey!” Wilbur calls, its coming from the wall to the left of the door, “Hey Tommy!” 

“Wilbur?” Maybe Dream did do something to him. Because Wilbur is dead, he can’t be laughing from the room beyond this wall. He’s dead. Phil killed him. 

Phil killed him. 

Didn’t he?

No, no he would have told Tommy if Will were still alive. He wouldn't have hidden it. 

Not like he hid this base, not like he hid whatever plan Techno is apparently helping him carry out. 

“Tommy!” Will shouts again, “I know you can hear me! You better talk to me eventually Tommy, this is the only entertainment we’re gonna get!”

Tommy….Tommy misses the beach. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last solid idea I have for this verse and there's a timeskip of at least a few months or weeks between this and the last chapter of Tommy's adventures. 
> 
> I might end up having more ideas for this verse as things in canon develop but this is where we leave it for now

He’s out. He’s _out_ and Techno and Phil aren’t here, have no idea that he’s escaped. Tommy pauses in the hallway, trying to decide what to do, he needs to _think_ but his heart is pounding so fast. Wilbur is asleep, and maybe Tommy should let him out too, but who knows what Will would do? He might help him get out, but he also might lock Tommy back up. 

Tubbo. He has to warn Tubbo, Tubbo can get the word to Fundy and they can both go hide before Dream or Phil find them. Tommy jams his feet into boots, stuffs his arms into the coat, tosses the cloak over his shoulders. He needs to be quick. He can’t travel overland, that’ll take too long, he still has no idea how far Techno took him from the beach, and that was already further than a day’s travel from L’manberg. He won’t have a day. He probably doesn’t even have hours. 

Techno has a way of popping up when its least convenient. Not to mention Phil. 

He needs a portal, but there’s no way that Techno or Phil have built one out here. It would be too obvious to Dream. It would make them too easy to find. 

Tommy charges up the steps, flings open the trap door beneath the beat up table. 

He needs to find a lava pool. He remembers the ritual to open a portal on his own. He’ll get far enough from the house and open one and get through to the L’manberg portal. 

Its night, when he bursts out of the house. The moon shines down on a pristine field of white snow, not a single footprint marrs the surface. Its beautiful. How long has it been since he saw the sky? How long since he was outside? 

No, no he can’t get distracted, he can’t stop. He picks a direction--east--and runs. He has no supplies, no gear beyond his clothes. This is a terrible plan, this isn’t even a plan, but Tommy doesn’t care. He’s _done_ being locked up, being exiled. He’s going to find Tubbo and warn him before Techno finds and excuse to get him out of L’manberg. 

Gods, maybe that’s where Techno is. 

Is he getting Tubbo now? 

Tommy runs faster. 

His chances of finding a lava pool are low, he knows, but he doesn’t have any other choice. 

He doesn’t know how long he runs, or how far he goes. He only knows the pounding of his feet--steadily growing numb--and the gasping of his breath--it feels like he’s inhaling ice when he breathes in and he exhales clouds of steam that take his warmth with them one breath at a time. 

Then he sees it. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a flash of light, hears the pop of lava in the frigid air. He skids to a stop and carefully approaches the pool. The heat is blistering on his face, he didn’t realize how cold he was, so cold that he stopped shivering. He holds his hands out to the warmth. 

He needs to build the portal but surely he can stay here for just a moment more. Techno hasn’t found him yet, Phil hasn’t come swooping out of the skies to carry him back to the house. He has time. 

The lava is so warm, and the snow is so cold. 

_You could get closer,_ his mind says, _you thought about it so many times on the island. Just step over the edge and it’ll all be over. You won’t have to worry about anything anymore._

But Tubbo. He’s here for a _reason_ , he can’t just… 

Why would he even think about that? 

Tommy backs away from the lava, into the cold. He presses a hand to his forehead. There’s something _there_ in his head, a pressure against the inside of his skull. Like there’s been something forced in there. 

He needs to build the portal, but he can’t get close to the lava. He can’t listen to the voice--it isn’t his voice, he realizes, shouldn’t it be his voice if its in his head? His voice, and not Dream’s. 

His knees give out beneath him, the snow is more of a slush here at the edge of the heat of the pit. It soaks into his pants, goes over the edge of his boots. 

_You don’t have to do anything,_ Dream’s voice croons from inside his head, _just lay here, in the cold. It would be so peaceful, maybe Tubbo can join you here._

Tommy should have stayed in the basement. 

He climbs to his feet, staggers away from the pool. The icy wind whips around him, biting deep into his legs where his pants have gotten soaked. The edge of his cloak is wet too, clinging to the back of his calves. 

He has to go, he has to run. He doesn’t know if Dream is actively in his head or if this is some sort of curse he’s put on Tommy but he has to get back to the basement. He has to find Techno or Phil. 

He doesn’t make it. 

Its so far. Its so cold. 

Its so nice, lying here in the snow, with the lava popping behind him. Like when they’d gone camping all those years ago. The cold creeps into him, every last vein and muscle. 

_See?_ Dream says, _I told you it wouldn’t be bad. Its just like falling asleep. You just have to close your eyes and let go._

_Let go, Tommy._

He gets up, like he’s in a dream. 

Ha, _Dream_. 

Its funny. 

He gets to his feet, or someone does, he hardly seems to be in control of his body anymore. 

It will be funnier if he goes into the lava. Freezing to death could be an accident, but Phil will _know_ that his precious little boy off’ed himself if he goes into the lava. 

One kid who Phil had to take care of himself, but Dream can take care of this one. Phil should appreciate it. 

He won’t, and that’s what’ll make it so funny. 

He’ll be so angry but there’s nothing he can do about a little boy burnt to a crisp. 

He should have known better than to get attached to these little things. So quick, take your eyes off of them and _poof_ up they go. Like a candle. 

Its so _funny_. 

Then there are arms wrapped around him, tight and unyielding. A body, strong, solid, tall enough that they can lift Tommy completely off his feet, carry him away from the lava pool like a misbehaving child. 

No. 

_No_ ! They’re _ruining_ the joke! 

A familiar voice, muttering unfamiliar, impossible words, and then Tommy is gasping. He is himself again. He’s alive. 

He almost jumped into a lava pit. 

Belatedly, he struggles, thrashes, but Techno is far too strong for him to escape. “Tommy!” his brother shouts, “Tommy stop!” 

He forces Tommy to his knees in the snow, his weight on Tommy’s back brings his head down to his knees. He can’t breathe, he almost stopped breathing forever. He almost killed himself. No, Dream almost killed him. Dream almost made him kill himself. 

He chokes, nearly gags, he realizes he’s crying but he can’t make himself stop. Techno slowly--carefully, like he’s prepared to jump back onto Tommy if he goes anywhere-- lets him up. He kneels at Tommy’s side and rests his hand on Tommy’s back. “You’re alright,” he says, but its a _lie_. 

“What the _fuck_?” Tommy chokes out. 

“You get why you had to stay inside now?” Techno asks, almost chiding, but there’s no heat to it. He gets up, his cloak appears around Tommy’s shoulders. “Come on, that won’t keep him out forever, we have to go.” 

He hauls Tommy up into his arms, not over his shoulder this time. Tommy tangles his hands into Techno’s collar and for once, doesn’t argue. 


End file.
